Los Angeles chef Ben Ford is an advocate for what the culinary industry calls “the slow-food movement,” but what most people call “not plopping in front of a chum bucket of food and glorping it down your throat-hole while fiddling with a phone.” Actually, “slow-food movement” sounds better; let’s stick with that one.
Anyhow, the slow movement, needless to say, is not always the approach of Americans, many of whom spend Thanksgiving eating the caloric equivalent of Triple Crown–winning horse American Pharaoh. Ford (whose father, Harrison, you may recognize from a hot new sci-fi trailer) believes Thanksgiving should be approached as something to savor rather than snarf through. “You’ve seen the hot-dog guys,” Ford says, laughing. “You can pound food in a short amount of time if you’re doing it with some intent. If you’re just trying to eat a lot, eat fast and eat hard.” If you’re looking to enjoy your day, do this instead:
1. Prep with cardio.
Get up early. Go run. Go walk. Hit a heavy bag. Literally do anything. It’ll barely chip away at the caloric lollapalooza to which you’re about to subject your GI tract, but you’ll feel better mentally about your fourth slathering of casserole.
2. Skip lunch…
There are 5,000 dinner calories staring you in the face; you can get by without a B.L.T.
3. …and just have a little snack beforehand.
An hour before your dad or Harrison Ford carves the roast beast, grab something like an apple with peanut butter to take the edge off. You’re preparing for a holiday meal, not going on hunger strike.
4. If you want to eat slow, cook slow.
“You’re better off planning and pacing yourself in your preparations,” Ford says, talking about cooking and, you know, life. “The efforts that go into making the food translate to the finished plates, like a good stew that’s had time to sit and do its thing. Any kind of cooking that involves time will turn out better.”
5. When it’s time to eat, settle in.
Look, we have families, and we don’t like them all either, but this is a big deal and requires a commitment, so calm down and plan to commingle with these people for a few hours. “I just love a big table of people, putting the food and the wine in the middle. It comes off as a feast,” Ford says. “People quickly become less inhibited. Even with family you can use the time for rewarming the water, so to speak.”
6. Avoid rolls.
That’s just wasted gastric real estate! Also, you can eat rolls all the time. The best rolls I ever ate were those ones from the high school cafeteria. Thanksgiving should be a special time. Not a rolls time.
7. Eat slow.
Duh.
8. Stop when you feel like you are going to die.
Also, duh.
9. This is important: Split up the aftermath.
Admit it: You don’t really want (or, especially, need) to be eating this stuff for the next two weeks. So find a way to get the leftovers to people who really need it. We’re gonna need some community spirit this holiday season, people. And it starts with stuffing.
