Jason Bourne is probably the most resourceful action hero in movies—half the fun of the series is watching the myriad ways he wastes bad guys using everyday household items. At once imaginative and pragmatic in the domestic realm, Bourne is the Martha Stewart of wrecking dudes. In honor of the amnesiac assassin's return in this weekend's Jason Bourne, we've revisited the original Bourne trilogy and itemized every household object Jason Bourne has used to wreck fools in each movie, up to and including Jason Bourne.
Here's a strange thing we've found, though: As memorable as these assaults-by-sundries are, they don't happen that often, and the movies don't make a big deal of it. There's only one instance of improvised weaponry in The Bourne Identity, but it is memorable as hell. In fact, you could argue that it's a trick that becomes less interesting the more you see it done, because you really only have to tell audiences that a character is good at hitting bad guys over the head with scenery, like, once before they get it: Bourne doesn't need a weapon, but put anything in his hand and he will find a way to use it to tear you to pieces. You have probably used most of these things, but as they were intended to be used, which is a practice we'd advocate for. Please don't try any of this at home. Here they are:
Although The Bourne Identity introduced the world to Jason Bourne and his remarkable resourcefulness, the movie doesn't actually feature a whole lot of creative weaponry. (Unless you count the beat-up Mini Cooper in the film's iconic car chase, which sold a lot of Mini Coopers.) The only household item turned lethal in this movie is a ballpoint pen, which doesn't seem like a huge stretch of the imagination—until you see Bourne use it against a guy brandishing a big-ass knife. This is the scene that made Bourne's resourcefulness famous, and it's one of the best fight scenes in the franchise.
The Bourne Supremacy shows Bourne at his most resourceful, particularly in this scene where he confronts a fellow assassin and gets into a deadly close-quarters brawl. Here, he continues to bring humdrum items to a knife fight, disarming his opponent with a magazine. Bourne then uses that magazine (after reversing an attempt to choke him with a power cord) as a fuse to light up an open gas main after shoving it in a toaster. Note well: This is NOT an intended use of GQ, even after you're done with it.
One of the better movie marketing stunts we've seen.
Throughout history, booze has served a role as an anesthetic and disinfectant, in addition to being the libation we know and love. Jason Bourne doesn't appear to really drink, but the guy knows how to blind an aggressive Russian cop and treat a gunshot wound on the fly.
The Bourne Ultimatum is where things start to lose steam. In what's probably the film's most low-stakes encounter, Bourne encounters Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles) in Spain, where she agrees to help him on his hunt for answers. Unfortunately, the CIA has people after him, so he has to tape a penlight to a fan to distract them before going to town on the unlucky assailants with a broomstick.
Blink and you'll miss this one, but during Ultimatum's central three-way chase scene in Tangiers between Bourne, Nicky, and the assassin Desh, Bourne swipes a can of hairspray from a street vendor and throws it into a fire to create a diversion. The video below cuts out just before the sequence in question, but the exciting part is what comes after all this.
The Tangiers sequence is unquestionably the best part of Ultimatum, a shaky-cam opus of pursuit and close combat that concludes with a brutal fight scene between Bourne and Desh, wherein Desh wields a candlestick and Bourne bludgeons Desh with a book.
We're not going to divulge any plot points for Jason Bourne here, but it does continue in the proud Bourne tradition of harming people with things that are meant to appear quite harmless. Keep an eye out for a wooden chair and a small saucepan.
You call that thing you live in a home? Jason Bourne would call it an armory. And it's an economical one, too—all these items are available for little more than a few dollars each. But again, don't use your appliances and reading materials the way Bourne does. At the very least, it'll void the warranty.
