Maybe Attempting to Kiss a Young Girl Is a Bad Look, Donald Trump

Er, you probably shouldn't do that.

To say Donald Trump has had a bad past couple of weeks is stating the obvious, like pointing out racism is bad or that GQ should stick to fashion. This is mostly a symptom of Trump being the vile logical end of the white-male patriarchy—a rich man so deeply mediocre and self-confident despite his long track record of failures that, quite naturally, America rewarded him with a chance at the presidency.

So while his wife, Melania, sat down with Anderson Cooper to fix his shit, we had Trump at a campaign rally in Wisconsin, doing his usual schtick of stoking the ugliest racist impulses of his supporters while calling for Hillary Clinton to be thrown in prison. Then he picked up a young girl—even though he has no idea how to hold children—and attempted, well, whatever this is:

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Note how that's not so much a kiss (theory: Trump does not know how to kiss) as it was an attempt to eat her soul.