What Couples in Different Relationship Stages Want From Each Other on Valentine's Day

One year, three years, 15 years, and more.
Valentines Day

2017 will either be the year that love conquers all or everyone dies. (Sorry!) Either way, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and who knows? It might be the last time you get to have unprotected sex without having to spend the next morning tracking down a guerrilla pharmacist in a dark alley for a box of emergency contraception. So celebrate it to the fullest.

Here, we talked to couples in very different stages of their relationships—one year, three years, ‘till death do us part, and so on—to get a sense of what couples really want to do with the person they love on.

One Year Together

Ross (26) and David (27)

Ross’ ideal Valentine’s Day: “I’d love to go back to where we had our first date (coffee place in Turtle Bay), discuss all of the great things we've done over the past year, walk through Central Park, and then get dinner or see a movie.”

David’s ideal Valentine’s Day: “I would love to go to a nice dinner—not on VD, but a day or two before—a restaurant we've always wanted to go to. Since it's our one year as well, we're going to combine stuff. So I'm going to do a very thoughtful gift that's taken me awhile to make, and I expect something similar.”

David’s ideal Valentine’s Day, according to Ross: “Probably to travel somewhere. He's really gung-ho about going to Argentina right now.”

Ross’ ideal Valentine’s Day, according to David: “The same thing I want to do, probably—except he's not much of a gift person.”


Three Years Together

Katie (32) and Nuri (36)

Katie’s ideal Valentine’s Day: “Take our dog to the beach, then watch movies on the couch. Maybe we could also spend time in a hot tub of water—either a literal hot tub or bath—at some point.”

Nuri’s ideal Valentine’s Day: “Perhaps go to the pillow fight in SF. Katie doesn't seem like she'd be into this, though. To be honest, I'm not a great romantic, so Valentine's Day has always been fraught with a certain amount of anxiety for me. Katie loves jewelry, so if I had an idea for something I knew for certain she would like, I'd probably choose this occasion to give it to her. I would have to be positive that she liked it though; I have absolutely no eye for what looks good to her. Her favorite flower is the thistle, which isn't very common, so flowers are not a gift I'd be likely to give. Also she doesn't really eat sweets. Honestly, last year we didn't celebrate Valentine's day at all, and that seems like a habit we're likely to repeat.”

Nuri’s ideal Valentine’s Day, according to Katie: “Maybe the same thing about taking the dog to the beach. Probably going on a hike (boo!). Maybe go see comedy?”

Katie’s Ideal Valentine’s Day, according to Nuri: “That we don't really celebrate Valentine's day? I hope she said this.”


15 Years Together

Jenny (48) and Adam(44)

Jenny’s ideal Valentine’s Day: “Really nothing. It’s a stupid holiday. If gifts are involved, I would want dark chocolate caramels, and then I’d bitch that I was eating too much sugar. He really can’t win.”

Adam’s ideal Valentine’s Day: “Not much. Maybe dinner out, but I think we both agree that it's a manufactured holiday and we're not big on those.”

Adam’s ideal Valentine’s Day, according to Jenny: “He’d say he’d get me flowers and chocolates and then he’d have to listen to me complain about eating too much sugar. If I were going to get him a gift, it would be bourbon. But I won’t because he always just buys the bourbons he wants.”

Jenny’s ideal Valentine’s Day, according to Adam: “In the past she's said that all she wants is a Whitman's Sample assorted candy box, but at the same time, she's looking to eat less sugar. So... it’s a dilemma.”


20 Years-Plus Together

Robin (39) Adam (39)

Robin’s ideal Valentine’s Day: “Dinner at Melting Pot, a thoughtful gift (a sparkly ring?), and chocolate-covered strawberries and/or chocolate covered cherries. Then we’d snuggle and watch a movie—that we both stay awake for! I also wouldn't necessarily buy a gift unless I saw something that I knew he would like. Definitely gummy peaches from the candy store.”

Adam’s ideal Valentine’s Day: “Quiet dinner without the kids.”

Adam’s ideal Valentine’s Day, according to Robin: “SEX. He wouldn’t want to spend any money.”

Robin’s ideal Valentine’s Day, according to Adam: “Melting Pot.”


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