The advent of the new year has once again brought us to the single grimmest stretch of the year for fitness enthusiasts everywhere: the Takeover of the New Year's resolution crowd. And while we at GQ do not adhere to the school of thought that casts smug aspersions on people who have made the commitment to exercise more regularly, it becomes a numbers game at some point. The rapid influx of bodies into a confined space transforms an otherwise-pleasant weight room into a Black Friday-esque free-for-all, and suddenly, the period you spend waiting for a treadmill—silently seething at the fortunate souls who arrived only moments before you did—ends up lasting longer than whatever precious sliver of time you're allotted to actually run on it.
Never fear, though. We've partnered with Ridge Davis, a personal trainer at West Hollywood's Ridgid Fitness and an instructor at THE WALL Fitness, to create a week's worth of workouts which will allow you to steer clear of of a temporarily overcrowded gym. Feel free to run it back as many times as you need this winter until things—God willing—finally return to normal.
Pick one exercise from each of the four categories below. Start by doing each one for 30 seconds, with a 10-second rest between each round. Do six rounds, adding five seconds to the original 30-second duration each time.
Low plank: Get in the push-up position, but with forearms on the ground. Squeeze your glutes and bring your belly button to your spine, creating a straight, strong line from head to toe.
Low plank T-rotation: From low plank position, rotate your hips to one side and reach the top hand towards the ceiling, holding that position at the top for two seconds. Rotate back down to low plank, and switch sides.
Squat: You know what to do. But just in case you don't, here.
Glute bridge: Lie face up with your feet under your knees. Squeeze your glutes and press your hips up towards the ceiling, forming a bridge with your torso. (Do not allow anyone to walk on this bridge.)
Push-up with reach: At the bottom of a push-up, drop your chest to the floor and fully extend your arms over your head before returning to push-up position to complete the repetition.
Pulse rows: Start facedown on the floor with your arms at your side and palms facing up. Raise your arms, shoulders, and chest off the ground, and then return them in a controlled fashion to the floor.
Squat jacks: Lower into a squat with your hands between your legs and then jump up, bringing your legs together and rotating your arms to meet at the top.
Jump squats: Like a squat jack, but... without the jack.
Perform each pair of exercises for four rounds using the Tabata protocol: 20 seconds of intense work and 10 seconds rest of between each exercise.
Straight-leg bicycles: While lying face up on the ground, place your hands behind your head with your elbows pointed out wide. Twist your torso, bringing your opposite knee and elbow together and making contact above your belly button. Extend the opposite leg out long, keeping it 4-5 inches off the floor. Alternate sides after each repetition.
Leg raises: Lie face up on the floor again, this time with your hands by your sides and pressed into the floor. Extend both legs out, hovering them 4-5 inches off the ground. While keeping your legs straight, engage your abdominals to send your legs up towards the ceiling, and then lower them to the ground in a controlled fashion.
Alternating side squats: Starting with both feet together, use your left leg to step out wide into a low squat. Return to the starting position and repeat on the right side.
Skater jumper: Standing with your feet together in a miniature squat, jump laterally as far as you can and land with both feet together. For an additional challenge, try jumping with and landing on only the outside foot.
Towel pull-backs: Lie facedown with your hands reaching above your head. Grab both ends of a small towel and pull them apart. Maintaining tension on the towel, lift your chest and shoulders and pull the back to your chest by squeezing your back as tightly as you can before returning to the starting position.
Supermans: Lie facedown with legs and arms extended, but not together. Locking your knees and elbows, raise your legs and arms as high as you can, and then gently place them back on the ground.
Jumping jacks: Just like middle school P.E.!
Split jump lunges: Starting from a lunge position, jump up and switch your feet, landing back in a lunge position. Alternate sides after each repetition. (Warning: These 20 seconds will somehow take a half-hour.)
The only gym you need is a good staircase, and even if you don't have a lengthy fire escape at your disposal, this workout doesn't require much verticality to absolutely wreck you. Start with 30 seconds of continuous running up and down a flight of stairs. Next, switch to three sets of squat jumps up the stairs, running back down after each set. After that, do five lateral runs, torso facing the wall. Each trip up and down counts as one. Finish with a lateral run suicide: Go up and down one stair, and then two stairs, and then three stairs, and so on. Complete this four-exercise circuit a total of three times.
Set up four markers in a row, spaced ten feet apart from one another. Using the first marker as "home," sprint to each cone and then back home until you've tapped all the markers. (All high school basketball players should be nodding ruefully right now.) Do eight rounds, allowing yourself two minutes of rest between each one.
It's cold. We know. Find a track and go outside anyway. (Besides, there's still a wait for a treadmill.)
1600-meter run, followed by a two-minute slow jog
1000-meter run, followed by a 90-second slow jog
800-meter run, followed by a 75-second slow jog
600-meter run, followed by a one-minute slow jog
400-meter run, followed by a 45-second slow jog
200-meter run, followed by a 30-second slow jog
Do you think you are done? You are not done. Finish the workout by repeating the 200-meter run and then working your way back up the reverse pyramid. Depending on your jogging pace, you'll cover about six miles.
Okay, your closest available pool might still be in the gym, but swimming isn't usually the type of exercise into which New Year's resolutionaries typically... dive. (Sorry.) Pick your favorite stroke, or alternate as you see fit.
400-meter swim, followed by two minutes rest
Two 200-meter swims, with 30-45 seconds between sets
Four 100-meter swims, with 30-45 seconds between sets
Eight 50-meter sprints, with 30-45 seconds between sets
You're going to need it.
