If there’s a unifying theory to this shitpuddle of an election, it’s that the people who are voting for Donald Trump are voting for him because they are, above all else, dissatisfied with America in its present form. I saw this when I hung around with Trump voters in Iowa, and you can hear it from Bad Taste Frankenstein himself at virtually all of his nightmare disco rallies, even the ones where he takes his pills and reads off the prompter like a good little boy. America sucks. America is in horrible shape. America is under siege. America has been stolen by DC elites. ‘MERICA AIN’T ‘MERICA NO MORE!
It’s always a mistake to attempt to psychoanalyze Trump and his supporters, given that Trump is history’s greatest imbecile, and given his campaign is little more than a 16-month outburst of childish irrationality. You can blame it on the economy, or sexism, or racism, or all three… but that undercurrent of unhappiness girds all of them. As explained by this Cracked essay that people have been passing around as if it’s good (it is not), people in rural Trump Country are tired of being sneered at. They believe they’ve been disenfranchised, spiritually if not literally. They believe no one cares about them. They believe that their voices have not been heard. “Deplorables,” etc. They are voting for Trump to give a proverbial middle finger to the establishment.
Now, here’s an unsurprising twist: These people are goddamn deluded. That anti-establishment pose that Trump is riding is the same line of bullshit that Republicans have coasted on for decades. And it’s worked. Look around you, rural America. You already live in Donald Trump’s idealized version of this country. Love guns? We have more guns than people. Hate abortion? Multiple states, probably including yours, have already made abortions illegal in most instances and virtually impossible to obtain otherwise. Want a border wall? Yup, we’ve got one of those, too (NOTE: it doesn’t work). Tired of activist justices making up laws as they go along? Well, you’re in luck! Because judicial vacancies are at an all-time high. Support the cops? We gave them TANKS. Don’t want your tax money going to imaginary lazy poor people? America’s tax rate is below average for the developed world. Want Trump to bomb the hell out of Muslims? We’re way ahead of you on that.
Everything you want Trump to do has been done or is currently being done, often by the same Republicans he openly feuds with. Since 1995, the Republican party has controlled the House of Representatives for all but four years. Nearly half of all states are controlled by a Republican “Trifecta” of governor, state senate, and state house. Take Kansas as a prime example. It’s a state that happily suppresses evolution in school and has cut taxes to the bone thanks to Republican governor and Trump supporter Sam Brownback. Surprise! It’s now the fucking netherworld. This is the “great” America you already live in. So what the hell do you have to complain about? You should be happy! What more could you want from this dystopian nightmare? You should go fire some guns off in your shanty and slap a protestor, because chances are no one will do anything about it in 2016 America. It's your fantasyland.
Turns out that you morons have been voting with your middle finger for a very, very long time. And the America you now supposedly can’t stand—with all of its inequality and racial tension—is the result of it. You did this. You created an America where Larry the Cable Guy can somehow prosper… where Donald Trump can openly talk about grabbing pussy and somehow NOT be publicly exiled. Great job, shitbirds. The idea that Trump will be your revolutionary is hilarious given the disproportionate amount of power you hold over the rest of the population. You won a long time ago. Politicians DO listen to you. God, do they listen. All day long, your local candidate will sit at some three-dollar diner to hear “blue-collar” voters bitch about China stealing their jobs. If you ask me, people listen WAY too much to you hayseeds.
True, you guys can’t yell FAG perhaps as much as you’d like, but that’s a small price to pay to live in a country where us supposed East Coast elites are actually beholden—financially and otherwise—to REAL FOLK like you, instead of the other way around. And so, three weeks from today, I can promise you that I’ll be returning that middle finger when I vote. Because I’m just so tired of being ignored, you know?
