In what sounds like the slightly mangled opening line to a tired "walked into a bar" joke that you probably don't want to hear, but is actually the opening line to a real story that you definitely don't want to hear, President Donald J. Trump hosted Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent, and Kid Rock at the White House last night for an evening of fine dining and hilarious candid photos, grinding what little remains of the once-proud office of the president of the United States into a fine red-white-and-blue dust that smells vaguely of Natty Light.
According to a poorly proofread blog post on her website, Palin, the former Republican vice presidential candidate and forever Tina Fey cosplay enthusiast, was encouraged by President Trump to "bring a couple of friends" to dinner at the White House this week. The first names in her Rolodex, apparently, were Kid Rock, a late-’90s rock-rapper who switched to country music only after his two-bit Limp Bizkit impersonation grew stale, and Ted Nugent, a 68-year-old former musician who responded to seeing that terrible Michael Bay movie about Benghazi by calling for the public execution of President Obama and Hillary Clinton. Naturally.
Palin reports that the food was excellent, that the White House staff was delightful, and that the dessert—baked Alaska, of course—was just superb. Look, here is the president conducting very serious business as one politician turned reality TV star and two rockers turned hat-wearers look on intently:
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Here, via CNN's Jake Tapper, is the trio of esteemed state guests posing in front of a portrait of Hillary Clinton:
It should go without saying that if the Obamas had invited, say, Jay Z and Beyoncé to the White House for dinner, and they had posed in front of a portrait of, say, Ronald Reagan, Fox News would have launched an entirely separate channel featuring round-the-clock talking heads of angry old white men walking as close to the "saying the N-word" line as humanly possible. Bill O'Reilly, God rest his soul, would have concluded his inevitable gross dog-whistle rant about "showing respect" and "acting proper" by literally melting on live television like the Nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. But this is the Trump administration, which is functionally an elaborate four-year troll of the entire country, and therefore this stupendously tacky brand of trolling has already become grimly de rigueur.
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America: Truly the land of opportunity.
